Yesterday a photo of teen pop star Miley Cyrus and her friends pulling back their eyes was made public. This photo marks yet another group of individuals who probably didn’t think before they made the gesture–remember the Spanish Basketball Team? Comments left on articles reporting the photo and press releases denouncing such actions, cited similar reasons for why Miley Cyrus and her friends should not be “punished”: they are just kids having fun, doing what everyone else is doing.

On any other subject, I would stay more neutral and ask thought-provoking questions. However, on this subject, I am putting my opinion on the table.

Personally, I’m tired of these reasons. It makes me sick to think that people out there seriously believe that these things are okay.

“Fun and games” is not a valid reason to denigrate a group of people for a physical trait over which they do not have control. Being young and thoughtless doesn’t make it okay to participate in such racial gestures. Sure, 16-year-olds do a lot of stupid things: underage drinking, speeding, jumping into freezing lakes and rivers, sitting on rooftops, etc.

Should she apologize? Um, yes!

She’s a public figure, a role model of sorts. If her fans see her participate in this behavior, they may think it is okay for them to do it. OR if her Asian American fans see this, they’ll feel like they stick out, like they don’t belong. Does anyone remember the controversy over her scandalous photos last year? How many parents were mad at that? She’s just being a kid, right? YES, there are 16-year-olds that you and I know who take stupid pictures like that and often, they get reprimanded for it. Why should Miley Cyrus be any exception? If anything, she should feel more responsibility to uphold a positive image for young girls.

Just because “everyone else is doing it” doesn’t make it right. Speaking to your common sense, just because everyone else is jumping off a bridge, would you too? What if everyone was smoking pot, would you take a hit? Or beating up a poor kid because of his or her skin color? What about denying admission or aid to a group of people because they are “model minority” or because every other higher education institution is also doing it?

Maybe other people do not understand because they have not experienced it – so let me tell you about my experience. As a child, I remember being harassed by my “fellow” classmates who pulled back their eyes and called “ching, chong, chink” to my face. These experiences hurt – I wished my eyes had a double fold and were not almond-shaped. I wished that I wasn’t Chinese so that no one would make fun of me. Growing up, I never saw any Asian representation in teen magazines and saw, on multiple occasions, random people pulling their eyes back at me. These experiences caused personal identity issues, lower self-esteem and almost a sense of self-hatred. Of course, I don’t think that I am unique in this experience. (Note: Good thing I didn’t see any of the Spice Girls pulling back their eyes…otherwise, who knows where I would be.)

It still makes my blood boil when people blatantly say that whoever is upset needs to “get over it.” To that, I respond: YOU get over it. YOU who have had the privilege to live a life represented by the majority and the popular. YOU who think that minority experiences are invalid because in America we are all Americans. YOU who think that pulling back your eyes is equated to being “stoned.” YOU get over it and see that these experiences are not acceptable – these gestures are not tolerated.

Call to action: I read some comments that basically said “I’m Asian (or part-Asian) and I’m not offended.” Well, great – good for you that you didn’t have to experience such harassment. But speak for yourself and not for the entire group. Realize that individuals in your generation and generations before you have suffered severe consequences from these thoughtless actions. Speak for them that this is not okay, even if it doesn’t personally offend you.